Sunday, August 26, 2018

The rest of the story....

Percival and Augusta**.    Long ago they lived across the street from my family in a small super-modest old home with peeling paint and many many many cats.  And one little dog.   There was a front porch.  There was a back porch.  There's no trace left of where Percival and Augusta spent their sad life.  But my mind will never lose the image of that home and the couple who lived there.

Percival and Augusta were old in my eyes from the first time we met.  They were probably in their late 50's/early 60's, which as we all know is VERY YOUNG!!!!  Their faces looked much older, though.  Etched by life.  Just the two of them there in that little house.

Augusta spent a lot of time in her large garden across the driveway from her house.   And there was an old barn/garage type building at the rear border of their property which the cats pretty much had reign over.  One could have called it a "birth center" for hundreds of kittens.  

On the rare occasion that mom needed someone to watch me while she and Dad were gone, Augusta was my babysitter.   But any day of any week you could find me crossing the street to visit.  She fried me bacon any time I wanted good crisp bacon.  Better than Mom's bacon.  She and Percival doted on me, and I'm sure my little girl presence brought rare laughter and happiness to their lives.  

Right next to their driveway stood a most unique tree.  From about 8 feet up it was normal in appearance.  However from the base of the tree up to that 8 foot range, the trunk of the tree had seemingly been carved out on one side.  I don't know how the tree survived, but Augusta loved trees and she wasn't about to allow it to be removed.  She placed bricks in the carved out base of the tree to prevent it from falling.  

Yes, a most unique tree indeed.  With a sad story.  

Percival had a strong affection for alcoholic beverages.  Very strong affection.  He wasn't able to not drink. Most evenings  he would drive their car home after being at the pool hall.  As he would turn into the drive often the car would end up hitting Augusta's prize tree and remain there until Percival sobered up the next day.  

From our home across the street we had front row seats to Percival and Augusta's life.   There were frequent scenes in their front yard and often a drunken male voice in a high decibel range could be heard.  

Percival often collapsed in their yard, passed out.  Our phone would ring and Dad would make the trip across the street to shake Percival back to reality and help tiny little Augusta get him back inside the house.  Augusta was tiny.  And Dad was a whopping 5' 5" at the most and maybe 160 pounds.  Maybe.  

Once Percival fell into a snowdrift and their little dog ran out to check on him.  While Percival was passed out in the snow, the little dog lifted his back leg and proceeded to do a sort of canine wake up call on him.  

From inside our house Dad drew the curtains closed and told me to not look across the street.  This happened often. 

Percival was Daddy's friend and fishing partner.  Dad wanted very badly to help Percival.  To "fix" Percival.  When I was around 7 years old Dad started including me in their fishing trips.  Dad would say to Percival, "Do you really want Bunny to see you drunk?  Do you want her to see you lying in your yard passed out, or hear the horrible things you say out there?"  And Dad then told him he wasn't welcome to go on our fishing outings unless he hadn't been drinking.  

Percival needed a friend and he treasured his time with Dad and me.  Our early morning trips to the river usually included sober Percival.  The evening trips to set the lines on the river?  Well, more often than not he was absent.  

My eyes saw Augusta's tears and sadness.  She just exuded grief and heartache.   My young girl heart felt bad for Augusta and angry with Percival for being a drunk.  I grew to really dislike him.  Why on earth was he such a mean man?  Why didn't he just stop drinking?  I avoided being around him.  I..... judged him.  

Years later, several years later when I was a young adult I learned something about Percival and Augusta that painted a different picture of them.  

They were childless when I knew them.  But they hadn't always been childless.  They once had a little girl and lost her at the age of 3.  Their only child.  Never any more children for them.   I don't know the circumstances surrounding her death but I know it was very unexpected.  It was a story with details that would never be shared with me.  And clearly it broke them to pieces.  Pieces that seemed to be beyond repair.  

I thought about the times spent with them when I was 3 years old.  The love they showered on me.   Undoubtedly what they really wanted was to hold their own little girl just one more time.  Shower her with love.  Hold her close.  

I have my own children now, and grandchildren.  It takes no effort for me now to understand how much pain they were in.  In fact, it takes more effort to not get teary thinking about their life that I witnessed as a little girl.  And if I could turn back the clock, I'd show them more grace, more love, more understanding.  

Oh what a difference the rest of the story makes.  

We're all called by Christ to have compassion and extend grace to those around us.  To see their actions that are ugly to us, even repulsive to us, and then actively look for the rest of the story.  

And then....love them.  Just love them.  

Seriously, the Bible is jam packed with instructions to be nice.  

Like....be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just like God forgives you.  

Or...... don't judge unless you want to be judged yourself.  

Or just the basic....LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!

Or..... mercy.  Have mercy....  "because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment." James 2:13

Mercy triumphs.  Who are we to withhold grace and mercy from those who have been graciously forgiven by the Creator of the universe?  Are we superior to God?  Help us.  

Jesus knows the rest of the story for every one of us.  He loved Percival.  He understood his pain.  He forgave him for his sins.  Just as he loves and forgives me.  And you.  Isn't that amazing?  




Of all the things about me that I need help with spiritually, being critical and harsh is at the top of the list.  Lord, please help me to love like you.  Give me your eyes for just one second..... give me your love for humanity.  Help me to look for the rest of the story.  

.


**names changed.  




Thursday, August 2, 2018

Young. And Old. And Future.

Sixty three years ago on this day, my 15 year old sister loaded up my pregnant mom and my two other sisters in our old car and drove to the hospital 25 miles from home.  My sister's skills included driving a tractor and she could drive a car, too.    Dad was working, driving a road maintainer for the county. Probably far out in the country on a dirt road and there weren't cell phones in that day.  He was probably clueless that the whole hospital thing was happening.  I don't think I was quite due to be born yet. The first and last time I was early for anything.   

Dads in that day and age didn't really do the whole delivery room spectator sport event with full video coverage and Facebook live deal.  **sigh of relief**

Dad was 47, Mom was 40.  When they stood outside the nursery windows looking in at precious little me, they were asked by several random onlookers if they were visiting their newborn grandchild.  It was an innocent question, even a logical assumption.  But the answer was a clear and resounding "No, she's our baby girl."  

That being said, my childhood was blessed with a slower pace, a more relaxed parenting style, and a lifestyle that didn't really match the lives of most of my peers.  Didn't even match the lives of my older sisters.  

Mom was 57 when Dad passed away, and a few months later I graduated from high school and left the nest.  Mom was very calm by nature but I vividly recall her shaking her head and worrying about the horrible condition of the world, and how would her baby Bunny ever survive "out there".  It was 1973.  Around seven years after The Beatles invaded, with their long hair and wild music.  Scary stuff.  😉  Of course, she had more serious concerns than rock music and long haired boys.  Vietnam, Watergate, race riots, hippies and drugs and.....

She worried about how bad the world would become in the future.  (side note:  do you suppose she ever dreamed that the President of the United States would tweet? Or anyone else, for that matter? Only birds tweet, right?)

I poo-pooed her concerns.  For heaven's sake, I'd never given my parents even one minute of trouble.  They raised me right.  No worries.  

So now, at age 63, I can look back on all those years between leaving the nest at 18 and living currently in my own empty nest.  It's definitely a different world today than it was in 1973. 

And I find myself looking at the calendar and calculating how many more years (months? days?) I might be around and actively part of my grown children and grandkids' lives. It's a sobering thought.  

And yes, Mom..... I find myself thinking about how much the world will change after I'm gone.  How different my grandkids' lives could be.   

It's really tempting to get wrapped up in that doomsday, fearful type thinking about the future.  It's really easy to just look around at the world we currently live in and see nothing but ugly.  Just like Mom felt back in 1973.  

But I believe, I really do believe, that the world is no better or worse today than it was 63 years ago.  And no better or worse than it will be 63 years from now.  Different?  Yes.  Will there be unplanned, unexpected tragic life experiences?  Of course.  It's a given.  

When I'm tempted to exercise futile type thinking, I find hope only in one unchanging truth.  God will always be God. Too simple?  I don't think so.  

Recently I read a statement that really spoke to me in regard to fear of future events.  The questions: What is the key to patience when we experience long, difficult, excruciatingly painful years?  How do we keep from being strangled by fear and worry and defeat?  

The answer?  "Faith in future grace --- The sovereign grace of God to turn the unplanned place and the unplanned pace into the happiest ending imaginable." J. Piper.  

I can remember being that little 18 year old girl waving good bye to my Mom as she stood in the door of our home and watched me leave. Tears were shed, I'm certain.  I can remember how I thought my life would be as I drove away to school.  Plans, dreams, very few fears.  And no problems.  

Looking back, oh how different my life has been from the dreams of 18 year old me.  So many things I wouldn't ever have planned on happening.  Or wanted to happen.  And lots of beautiful wonderful surprise in between.  

I'm so thankful for the promise of God's sovereign future grace.  The strength to make it through broken plans and dreams.  The promise of even better plans than we dream.  The promise that God will always be God.  


Hebrews 13:5  "...I will never leave you nor forsake you...."

Though I choose to believe the simple truth of the everlasting sovereignty of God and his unending love for his people, I tend to forget.  And that's why I write stuff like this blog post.  That's why I write most of my blog posts.  To remind me.  One day I was fretting verbally about something and my youngest daughter said, "You need to go back and read your blog post titled What If?".  Yes.  I need accountability checks.  And I will until the day I fall into the arms of my Savior for all eternity.  On that day, my weak stumbling forgetful faith will become glorious amazing 20/20 sight.  For all eternity.  The happiest ending imaginable.