Cici's no more. Adventures in grandparenting chapter 1

If you enter the doors of Cici's Pizza in Topeka, Kansas there may well be a "Wanted" type poster with mugshots of myself and my two oldest grandchildren hanging at the entryway.  Probably with some sort of  large orange bio-hazard symbol on the poster somewhere near our pictures.   I can't verify the existence of such a poster, but considering the events of my only trip to this restaurant back in probably 2010 it stands to reason that there should be one.  

The grandson was around 4 years old and the granddaughter was 2 and a half years old if memory serves me.  I decided to treat them to a wonderful meal at Cici's followed by a trip to the park.  

You can't go wrong with pizza when it comes to my grandkids.  

Or can you?

We arrived at the noon hour rush and the place was packed with people.  After finally making it through the buffet line with plates loaded with pizza of the pepperoni and cheese variety we found one place to sit in a very crowded area near the back of the restaurant.  

I managed to get the table all set up with plates and drinks and a couple napkins.  The kids sat down right away and took their first few bites of pizza.  

At this point somehow little T girl wiggled around in her chair enough to cause the chair to fall over backwards with her in it.  Her head hit the tiled concrete floor with a bit of a thud which of course immediately elicited loud screaming from her and terrified horror from the other folks dining nearby.  VERY nearby.

The place was packed and we were the center of attention.  Oh happy day.

I picked her up and put her on my lap right away and examined her head for bumps or bleeding of which there was none.  Her eyes looked fine and she was far from lethargic.   And she continued to scream at incredibly high decibel levels.  

Folks all around the entire restaurant ceased eating, staring at us to see if T was okay.  I was sure she was but I held her close and kissed her little cheeks and wiped her tears.  And whispered gently in her ear.  To the onlooker it probably appeared that I was whispering stuff like "poor baby girl".  And yes, those were my initial words of comfort.  Followed quickly by the quiet but firm plea: "please don't throw up, please don't throw up, please don't throw up".  T was famous for vomiting every single time she had a crying spell, with or without injury.

Her crying subsided a bit and she got off my lap for me to help her back into her chair.  And as she stood there by the table waiting for me to get her chair, suddenly, of course,  she hurled her tummy contents all over the table. All. Over. The.  Table.    Dripping onto the floor.  

At this point big brother N, seeing the large pool of nastiness on the floor, jumped up to stand on his chair and in the process of doing so he tipped over his large glass of soda onto the already flooded table and floor below.  Then from his lofty position standing on his chair he proceeded to scream at his sister "T why did you do that, now you're going to stink.  I'm not sitting in the back seat with you on the way home."  And I firmly instructed him to be quiet and sit down right now.  

Do I need to tell you that we were still the center of attention there at Cici's?  

A man at a nearby table felt sympathy for us and brought me over a couple napkins to help clean up the mess.   It was a generous and kind gesture, but, yeah, I needed so much more.  

Somehow the restaurant employees hadn't really noticed the debacle that was occurring in our neck of the woods.  A nearby customer watched the kids for me while I made my way quickly to locate the store manager and told him we'd made an epic mess and asked if he could get me a mop so I could clean it up.  He was very kind and told me they were professionals at handling messes of this nature and he right away headed in our direction.  

We stood nearby as he efficiently cleaned up the mess.  By that time T was feeling much better and N had returned to his normal delightful self.  Remarkably none of the onslaught of fluids had soiled any of our clothing.  Or hair.  Or shoes.  So, yeah, there's the silver lining in this little fiasco.  No wardrobe changes required.  

What did we do next?  Well.  Uh...we were still hungry.  So we went back through the pizza line.  We sat down at our same table which had been all cleaned and sanitized.  We made it through our meal without further incident.   And then, as happily as we'd entered the building, we walked on back out and went to the park.  

Pretty sure management was quite relieved to see us leave the premises.  Pretty sure I'll never go back.  Even though we probably no longer resemble the images on the potential "Wanted" poster from that day in 2010.... It's just a risk I'm not willing to take.  

Unfinished business. Call NOW.

If you live in our part of Kansas and you've ever watched anything on TV there is 100% chance that when you hear the phrase "call NOW" you think of one person.  Jerry O'Neal.  Continental Siding company.  You may not remember his company name but you cannot forget, no matter how hard you try, the sound of his voice saying "call NOW".  

Like multiple millions of folks across our nation I watched the big post-Super Bowl episode of This Is Us.  Perhaps you did, too.  It's easy for me to relate to the three siblings in this show who lost their dad at age 17.  The pain they experienced really struck a familiar chord with me.    I can say from experience that it is not possible to lose a parent when you're a teenager without having an abundance of unfinished business.  

And I know that this unfinished business scenario isn't limited to teenagers losing a parent.  Someone very very close to me lost his father quite suddenly several years ago. Though most of his family was able to be at their father's bedside in the hospital, communication was one-sided at best.  Dad was gone.  

Grieving is difficult enough without the pain of unfinished business.  Words left unsaid.  

I believe that anyone who has experienced such a loss would adamantly offer the same advice as Jerry O'Neal.  Call NOW.  Say what you need to say to those you love.   Can I get an amen?  Death is final and quite often unexpected.   And there will never be another chance to say what needs to be said.  That's a harsh truth, and I'm not sure you can grasp the depth of the pain involved unless you've been through it.  

Trust me, it's an experience you do not want to ever have.  

Let those of us who have been there gently urge you to say what you need to say while you still can.  Love while you still have them near.  Forgive them before it's too late.   "Too late" is a really dark place to be.  

I can also tell you from experience that healing is possible in times of deeply painful losses.  But there's no magic formula or quick fix. It can take a long time, and what might seem to be an ocean of tears.   

The solution?  Only Jesus.  Healing is his specialty.  His love for you is unending.  Forgiveness is yours before you even ask.  And the grace he gives is so much more than amazing.  He is a friend like no other.  

In my own experience I really struggled with regrets over what I didn't say to my dad, what I didn't hear from my dad.  After quite some time I knew my thought patterns desperately needed to change.  Not an easy task but through prayer I felt led to "find the good" (Phillipians 4:8).   I found a quiet place and wrote down every good memory I had of my dad.  It took time, and tears.  And it helped.  A lot. Thinking back on the good times helped me in a way to "hear" my dad say he loved me.  The good memories were saturated with evidence of our love.  My focus changed from regret to peace.  Plus I had the good times documented in writing to refer back to during difficult days.  This was the real-life practical way that Jesus helped me through my unfinished business.  

Speaking of unfinished business, do you have unfinished business with Jesus?  The remedy is so very simple!!  Jesus came to this world so that those who believe in Him would have eternal life in heaven.  Accept His love and forgiveness, it's there for the asking.   And He says to you "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest for your soul." Matt 11:28.  It's a decision you'll never regret.  

Well....I have to say it..... call NOW.  

One of my favorite places to call on God.