Small things

Starting at about age 30 or perhaps a year or two sooner, I began to dream about retirement.   You may relate.  Just looking forward to the day when the alarm clocks stop loudly interfering with our blissful sleep. Forcing us to put on happy faces and head off to work.  Day after day after day. Cruel behavior, those pesky alarm clocks.  

So here I am, approaching the long awaited birthday number 62.  I have already cut back on my work schedule drastically to babysit my grandson.    Grandson went off to all day kindergarten last fall which left me with millions of unoccupied minutes in my days to fill with....??? Hmmmm.  Whatever I want, right?  Retirement, the dream come true??? 

Let's just be honest and say it's an adjustment.  

My days have been filled.  But not with a particular schedule or routine tasks. Nothing I do is earning monetary wages, and that kind of requires an attitude adjustment.  I was a health care employee, I performed certain important tasks, and I got paid to do so.  And I enjoyed my job.  My identity was largely wrapped up in my title: Radiologic Technologist.  ARRT-M.   ASRT.  Licensed in the state of Kansas.   

So?  What's my new title? 

There seems to be no actual title for sleeping as late as I want to, reading as much as I want to, playing piano as much as I want to, traveling with the hubby some, writing a blog when inspired to, spending time with friends as much as I want to, camping and hiking and gardening and playing with my family (GRANDKIDS!!!).... all without punching a time clock.  Or....uh.... getting paid. 

Why, I've even started cleaning my house on a frequent basis.  Nobody saw that coming.  

This is clean, right?

But honestly it is tempting to be a little uneasy about this period of time that I've been waiting for my whole life.  Just kind of at loose ends.  I mean, what are the initials behind my name now??  

Silly thinking, huh?

Sometimes retirement seems like a screeching halt to everything that defined my life.  Going from what I considered to be significant activities to stuff that just appears to be merely small things.  But I really believe God is the designer of every "screeching halt"  we experience in our lifetime.  

 Life is peppered with periods of adjustments.  Lots of them.  Some exciting, some not so much.  Big plans reduced to small things.  Every age group gets in on these types of life events.  Not just us newly retired folks. 

There is a scripture that keeps coming to my mind.... "Who dares despise the day of small things?"  Written by the Old Testament prophet Zechariah, who was talking about the slow process of rebuilding the temple of God that had been destroyed by Babylon.  Big beautiful temple reduced to nothing.  

God designs these times to draw our attention back to Him.  Nothing to despise; no reason to despair.   He's right there with us in the small things.    In the quietness of our souls He can speak to us and mold us and make us who He needs us to be.  His temple.  1 Corinthians 3:16.   Something beautiful.  No initials required.  No title other than Child of God.  

One version of this scripture calls it "small beginnings".  I like that.  When our comfortable life is reduced to small things, it's really a new beginning.  Not the end. God isn't finished with me.  He will bring purpose to my days. 

And on that note, I hear the mountains calling and I must go.  Fixing to  lift my eyes to the hills where my help comes from. For a couple weeks....our first 2 week vacation ever.   

 Not gonna lie, I think I can do this retirement business.  Oh yeah.